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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Just landed via Slack:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Going viral on YouTube:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Going bananas on X:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Going bananas on X:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Freshly posted on X:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Breaking via X:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Funny self-examination quotes

New funny self-examination quotes 👇

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

3 days ago

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All funny self-examination quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

63 shares on Threads this month:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Trending via Pinterest:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Just landed via Instagram:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Spotted on X:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Just shared via Slack:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Going viral on Pinterest:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Just shared via Instagram:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny self-examination quotes

New funny self-examination quotes 👇

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

All funny self-examination quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨