Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Spotted on Instagram:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Shared recently on Slack:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Funny shared drink quotes

New funny shared drink quotes 👇

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

2 weeks ago

activity, date, date idea, drink, funny moment, glass, going, gravy, humor, i, idea, moment, quirky, quirky activity, shared, shared drink, straws, well

All funny shared drink quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

66 shares on Threads this month:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

97 shares on Threads this month:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Going viral on Telegram:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Trending via Reddit:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Making waves on Threads:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny shared drink quotes

New funny shared drink quotes 👇

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

All funny shared drink quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨