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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Spotted on Threads:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Going viral on TikTok:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Making waves on Facebook:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Going viral on Discord:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Funny Shark week quotes

New funny Shark week quotes 👇

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

3 weeks ago

blood, call, cravings, eat, emotions, everything, everywhere, feel, huge, humor, i, me, menstruation, people, period, scared, shark, Shark week, snapping, want, week

All funny Shark week quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on TikTok this month:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

80 shares on Threads this month:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

99 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Live now on Threads:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Breaking via Facebook:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Making waves on YouTube:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Making waves on Twitch:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Making waves on Messenger:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Shark week quotes

New funny Shark week quotes 👇

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

All funny Shark week quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨