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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2075 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,237

Funny Quotes Topics

14,981

Funny Quotes Images

12,237

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Going viral on X:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Going viral on TikTok:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Shared recently on X:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Spotted on X:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Going viral on TikTok:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

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Funny shower gel quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2075 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,237

Funny Quotes Topics

14,981

Funny Quotes Images

12,237

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Spotted on Facebook:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Trending via YouTube:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Just shared via Instagram:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Making waves on Discord:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Trending via Threads:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Spotted on Discord:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Shared recently on X:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Just landed via Facebook:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Making waves on Facebook:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

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