Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Just shared via Discord:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Going viral on Facebook:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Going viral on YouTube:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Funny slimming quotes

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New funny slimming quotes 👇

All funny slimming quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

13 shares on Slack this month:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Going bananas on Facebook:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Trending via TikTok:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Just landed via Twitch:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

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