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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Trending via YouTube:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Live now on YouTube:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Shared recently on Messenger:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Just landed via WeChat:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Funny slimming quotes

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New funny slimming quotes 👇

All funny slimming quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

97 shares on X this month:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

89 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Seen just now on X:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Breaking via Slack:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

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