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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Going viral on YouTube:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Trending via Snapchat:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Making waves on X:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Reported on Facebook:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Trending via Discord:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Seen just now on Threads:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Spotted on Threads:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Just landed via WeChat:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

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