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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Just landed via Twitch:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Just shared via Discord:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Just landed via Slack:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Going viral on Facebook:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Breaking via TikTok:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Making waves on YouTube:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Funny sofa quotes

Funny sofa quotes bring laughter and cozy vibes to your favorite spot 🛋️😄! Whether you’re lounging after a long day or binge-watching your favorite shows 📺🍿, these witty sayings capture the joy of sinking into comfort with a smile. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your living room decor, they remind us that sometimes the best moments happen right on the couch! Let’s get comfy and chuckle away! 😂✨

New funny sofa quotes 👇

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

0

12 hours ago

bed, birthday, forgetfulness, forgetting, hack, humor, life, life hack, marriage, ordinary, prank, relationship, simply, sofa, sofa bed, turn, wife
Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

0

2 months ago

autumn, blanket, comfort, cozy, day, indoors, just, last, movy, relaxation, season, sitting, sofa, summer, tea, watching
In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

0

2 months ago

comfort, comfortable, exercise, jogging, leisure, morning, opinion, sofa, Sunday
I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

0

2 months ago

activity, advice, helping, humor, much, shouting, sofa, sport, summer, tiring
I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

0

2 months ago

activity, comfort, comfort zone, end, funny activity, humor, i, limits, myself, push, pushing, pushing limits, relaxation, self-improvement, sitting, sofa, zone

All funny sofa quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Threads this month:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

51 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

45 shares on X this month:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

20 shares on Threads this month:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Going viral on Messenger:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Going viral on Messenger:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Spotted on X:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Spotted on Telegram:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Trending via Pinterest:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

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