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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,805

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Going bananas on Discord:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Making waves on Threads:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Going viral on Reddit:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Making waves on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Home » Funny Spotless Quotes

Funny spotless quotes

New funny spotless quotes 👇

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

0

2 months ago

cleanliness, family, house, humor, i, kicking, kids, parenting, spotless, struggle, want, wrong

All funny spotless quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Threads this month:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

68 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

26 shares on X this month:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Going bananas on X:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Just landed via Telegram:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Just landed via Instagram:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Just shared via Reddit:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny spotless quotes

New funny spotless quotes 👇

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

All funny spotless quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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