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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Spotted on X:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Breaking via Pinterest:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Just shared via Instagram:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Spotted on Threads:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Spotted on Instagram:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Funny stomachache quotes

Funny stomachache quotes 🤣 are the perfect remedy when your tummy’s throwing a drama party 🎉🍕. Whether you’ve eaten too much or just can’t stop laughing, these clever lines will have you chuckling through the discomfort 😂🍔. Get ready to turn those tummy grumbles into giggles and maybe even forget about the ache for a while! 😜💫

New funny stomachache quotes 👇

All funny stomachache quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

53 shares on X this month:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Wolves should really raise more people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,684

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Trending via X:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Seen just now on Messenger:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Live now on Snapchat:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Breaking via Instagram:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

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