Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Spotted on Telegram:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Going bananas on X:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Just landed via Threads:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Shared recently on Facebook:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Funny Sun King quotes

New funny Sun King quotes 👇

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

1 month ago

born, capitalism, choices, disappointment, favorite, historical, historical reference, humor, i, irony, king, late, life, life choices, mistress, reference, stage, sun, Sun King, Versailles

All funny Sun King quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

78 shares on Threads this month:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Breaking via Reddit:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Spotted on Telegram:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Spotted on Telegram:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Just landed via Reddit:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Trending via Twitch:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Sun King quotes

New funny Sun King quotes 👇

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

All funny Sun King quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨