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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Breaking via Slack:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Making waves on X:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Trending via Snapchat:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Live now on Threads:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Just landed via Slack:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Trending via Facebook:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Funny swatter quotes

Funny swatter quotes 🦟😂 bring a buzz of laughter to those annoying insect battles! Whether you’re smashing pesky flies or just enjoying a cheeky joke, these witty lines are sure to lighten the mood and keep the good vibes flying high. Ready to swat away stress with a smile? Let’s dive into some hilarious moments that turn every swat into a comedy hit! 🎉🪰😄

New funny swatter quotes 👇

All funny swatter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on X this month:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

91 shares on X this month:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

76 shares on Threads this month:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

43 shares on Threads this month:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

21 shares on Discord this month:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Just landed via YouTube:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Making waves on Telegram:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Trending via Telegram:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Just landed via Threads:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

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