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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,746

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Going bananas on Telegram:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Spotted on Slack:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Just shared via Discord:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Just shared via YouTube:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Going viral on Instagram:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Trending via Twitch:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Funny swatter quotes

Funny swatter quotes 🦟😂 bring a buzz of laughter to those annoying insect battles! Whether you’re smashing pesky flies or just enjoying a cheeky joke, these witty lines are sure to lighten the mood and keep the good vibes flying high. Ready to swat away stress with a smile? Let’s dive into some hilarious moments that turn every swat into a comedy hit! 🎉🪰😄

New funny swatter quotes 👇

All funny swatter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

63 shares on X this month:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Just shared via Reddit:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Making waves on Slack:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Going viral on WeChat:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Just landed via Telegram:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Making waves on TikTok:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Breaking via Messenger:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

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