168 Funny tell quotes

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  5 months ago

  View →: I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.
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  5 months ago

  View →: How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?
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  5 months ago

  View →: I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.
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  5 months ago

  View →: When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”
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  5 months ago

  View →: Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.
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  5 months ago

  View →: At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!
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  5 months ago

  View →: So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.
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  5 months ago

  View →: “What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.
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  5 months ago

  View →: When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.
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  5 months ago

  View →: One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

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