252 funny tell quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

May 20, 2026

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

May 20, 2026

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

May 20, 2026

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

May 20, 2026

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

May 19, 2026

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

May 19, 2026

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

May 19, 2026

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

May 19, 2026

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

May 19, 2026

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

May 19, 2026

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

May 19, 2026

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

May 19, 2026

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

May 19, 2026

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

May 19, 2026

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

May 19, 2026

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

May 19, 2026

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

May 19, 2026

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

May 19, 2026

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

May 19, 2026

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

May 18, 2026

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

May 18, 2026

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

May 18, 2026

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

May 18, 2026

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

Apr 1, 2026

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Apr 1, 2026

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Apr 1, 2026

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Apr 1, 2026

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Apr 1, 2026

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Apr 1, 2026

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Apr 1, 2026

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Apr 1, 2026

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Apr 1, 2026

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Apr 1, 2026

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Apr 1, 2026

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Apr 1, 2026

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Apr 1, 2026

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Apr 1, 2026

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Apr 1, 2026

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Apr 1, 2026

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Apr 1, 2026