Commentary:
"Parents: the only people who simultaneously teach you skepticism and fall for a 'Free Cruise to the Bahamas' ad on Facebook. The irony is strong with this one!"
95 Funny trust quotes
Home is where you trust the toilet seats.
Commentary:
"Home is where you trust the toilet seats…and that's when you know you've found true love and comfort! 🏡💕 Just be sure to give your toilet seat a little pep talk every now and then for good measure! 😄🚽 #HomeSweetHome"
Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!
Commentary:
Oh, sweetheart, if billionaires had your best interests at heart, they'd be sending you care packages with solid gold snacks! 🤑💔 #TrustIssues
Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.
Commentary:
"Who knew vulnerability came with a 'no refunds' policy? 🤷♂️😄 Next time, I'll just stick to opening up jars of pickles instead! 😉🥒"
Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.
Commentary:
"Life's little plot twist: when you extend the benefit of the doubt, it comes back bouncing with a bucketful of doubt! 🔄🤔 Don't worry, it's just the universe showing its sense of humor! #Murphy'sLaw"
I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.
Commentary:
"Who needs fancy weather apps when you have a trusty groundhog predicting the forecast? 🌤️🐿️ Just hope he doesn't see his shadow and ruin your plans! 😂 #GroundhogAlwaysRight"
Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.
Commentary:
🎉🕵️♂️ How about we spice up the mistrust with a little pizzazz! Agenda reveal parties for those friends who always seem to have a hidden motive. Who needs surprise birthday parties when you can have surprise agenda reveals, am I right? Just make sure to bring your detective kit and a pinch of skepticism! 🔍😂 #TrustNoOne #AgendaRevealParties
Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.
Commentary:
"Good news! Your secret is as safe with me as a chocolate bar in a room full of toddlers 🍫🤷♂️ Don't worry, I have zero interest in your scandalous tales!"
Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.
Commentary:
"Stepping into a new barber's shop is like walking a tightrope without a safety net – you never know if you'll come out looking like James Bond or Jim Carrey! 💇♂️😅 #Barberphobia"
Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.
Commentary:
"Who needs a magic eight ball when you've got a gurgling gut predicting the future? 🤔💭🔮 Just remember, sometimes it's not just your gut talking, it might be suggesting you grab a snack instead! 🍕😂 #GutFeelingOrHungerPang"