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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Just shared via X:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Making waves on Discord:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Shared recently on Threads:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Blink if you want me!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Going bananas on Threads:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Trending via Slack:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Funny Twister quotes

Funny Twister quotes bring all the laughs 🤪 as friends twist, tumble, and try not to fall! Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a newbie tangled in colors 🌈, these witty gems capture the hilarious chaos and unexpected moments that make the game unforgettable. Ready to stretch your funny bone and maybe your limbs? Let’s dive into the funniest spins and slips that Twister lovers can’t stop sharing! 🎉🌀

New funny Twister quotes 👇

All funny Twister quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Messenger this month:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

62 shares on Threads this month:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

28 shares on Slack this month:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Killing me softly with his schlong.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Making waves on Snapchat:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Going viral on Instagram:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Shared recently on Slack:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Spotted on YouTube:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Just landed via Telegram:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Trending via Slack:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

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