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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Just landed via TikTok:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Going viral on X:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Making waves on TikTok:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Spotted on Facebook:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Making waves on Threads:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Shared recently on Discord:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Making waves on TikTok:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Making waves on Slack:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Spreading quickly via X:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Just landed via Discord:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

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