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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Going viral on YouTube:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Just landed via X:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Live now on Discord:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Just landed via Facebook:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Spotted on Messenger:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

12 Funny underwear quotes

More funny underwear quotes 👇

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

3 weeks ago

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The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

3 weeks ago

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For even more funny underwear quotes, hit next 👇

All funny underwear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

55 shares on Twitch this month:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

80 shares on X this month:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

62 shares on Threads this month:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

22 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Seen just now on X:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Just shared via Facebook:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Just shared via Facebook:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Going viral on Messenger:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

12 Funny underwear quotes

More funny underwear quotes 👇

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

All funny underwear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨