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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Breaking via YouTube:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Making waves on Snapchat:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Just shared via Instagram:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Just shared via YouTube:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Going viral on Facebook:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Funny weather joke quotes

Funny weather joke quotes bring a splash of sunshine ☀️ to any gloomy day 🌧️! Whether it’s raining cats and dogs 🐕🐱 or snowing sideways ❄️, these witty one-liners will have you chuckling through the storm ⛈️. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your feed, get ready to laugh your clouds away ☁️😂!

New funny weather joke quotes 👇

All funny weather joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

29 shares on TikTok this month:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

17 shares on Threads this month:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Wolves should really raise more people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,637

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Breaking via Facebook:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Just landed via Instagram:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Trending via Facebook:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

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