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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,540

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Just shared via X:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Going bananas on Twitch:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Funny Whole Foods quotes

New funny Whole Foods quotes 👇

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

0

2 months ago

budget, financial, foods, girl, grocery, humor, just, lifestyle, shopping, Walmart, whole, Whole Foods
When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

0

4 months ago

age, amazing, bangers, foods, funny observation, generation, i, kid, lame, middle, middle age, morning, music, nostalgia, observation, people, played, supermarket, whole, Whole Foods, youth

All funny Whole Foods quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

53 shares on X this month:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

33 shares on X this month:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Trending via WeChat:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Trending via WeChat:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Going viral on TikTok:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Whole Foods quotes

New funny Whole Foods quotes 👇

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

All funny Whole Foods quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨