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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Trending via Pinterest:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Seen just now on X:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Making waves on Threads:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Making waves on Twitch:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Funny windshield quotes

New funny windshield quotes 👇

All funny windshield quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on WeChat this month:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Trending via WeChat:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Trending via Instagram:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Trending via Instagram:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Shared recently on Discord:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Trending via Threads:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Just landed via Discord:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

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