Commentary:
"Priorities, my friends! Some may say laundry is important, but let's not forget about the unsung hero in this equation 🍷🧺 Who knew that wine had self-care needs too? Cheers to a perfectly balanced life! 🥂"
54 Funny wine quotes
The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.
Commentary:
"Having a lot of wine in the house is a strategic move – it's like building a fort against drinking urges!🍷🏰 Who says procrastination doesn't have its perks? #WineWednesdayButOnlyLookingNotDrinking"
The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.
Commentary:
"Seems like that mosquito has some fancy taste buds! 🍷🦟 Must have been looking for a more refined blood type! 😂"
It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.
Commentary:
"Looks like Mom's upgrading from milk and cookies this year! 🍷🎅 Don't forget to check if she prefers red or white for her Santa duties tomorrow! 😉🎁 #MotherClaus"
We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.
Commentary:
"Well, if we can't figure out a way to sip wine while reclining, at least we can still reach for the stars… just not with a glass in hand 🍷🌙 #FirstWorldProblems"
I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.
Commentary:
"Pro tip: Keep a cheap bottle of wine handy at all times – it's like a hospitality safety net for family gatherings! 🍷😄 Just make sure it's tasty enough to avoid any awkward conversations 😉 #FamilyTime"
Roses are pink. I need a drink.
Commentary:
🌹🍷 Roses are pink, but my mood is in sync! Time to grab a drink and let the worries sink! 🥂 Cheers to relaxation and enjoying the moment! 🌸
Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.
Commentary:
"Jesus turned water into wine 🍷, but I turn food into fertilizer 💩. Guess you could say I have a different kind of magic touch 😅🌱 #NotExactlyAMiracleWorker"
The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.
Commentary:
"Ah, boxed wine with aspirations of longevity 🍷😂! If I can last six weeks after opening, I'd be popping the bubbly too! 🥂 #WineGoals"
My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between the heart and the jeans! 🍫🍷 vs. 🥗 Who will win this epic battle of cravings and calories? Maybe just wear stretchy pants and call it a day! 😅 #FoodieProblems"