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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Spotted on Messenger:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Trending via Discord:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Just landed via Reddit:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Just landed via Slack:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Just shared via Messenger:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

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Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.
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Commentary:
Ah, the joys of appreciating the art of doing nothing as we age, like a fine wine maturing in a barrel! 🍷 Embracing the relaxation game like a seasoned pro. 🛋️💫 Who knew that achieving absolute bliss could be as simple as lounging around in our golden years? 🌟 #DoingNothingGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

62 shares on X this month:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

72 shares on X this month:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

44 shares on X this month:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

51 shares on Discord this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,403

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Going viral on Reddit:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Seen just now on Slack:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Going viral on Snapchat:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

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