Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.
  • Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.
  • Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?
  • Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?
  • The new American dream is an alien invasion.
  • Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”