Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,014

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Just landed via Twitch:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Spotted on X:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Breaking via X:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Trending via Reddit:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Trending via WeChat:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Respecting people so much, I accidentally founded the Ghost Olympics 👻🏆 #CulturalTradition

actually, communication, culture, dating, ghosting, great, humor, respect, sign

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

0

3 months ago

accident, car, funny statement, hit, i, just, Labubu, statement, think
FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

0

2 months ago

anxiety, fear, FOGO, FOMO, going, going out, humor, season, social, social anxiety, summer, thing, winter
I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

0

2 months ago

again, attitude, bigger, bigger person, both, conflict, hell, humor, i, literally, never, person, sarcasm, want
Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, after, best, best part, car, comfort, day, heated, heated seat, humor, life, life transition, long day, seat, seats, transition, welcome
The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

0

3 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, daily, daily life, day, every, humor, life, responsibility, single, struggle, thing, worst
Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

0

2 months ago

air, air frying, complaint, Earth, exaggeration, frying, great, heat, humor, me, stop, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Instagram this month:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

87 shares on X this month:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

24 shares on Slack this month:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

15 shares on YouTube this month:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I love having plans to cancel.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Trending via Facebook:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Breaking via Twitch:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Making waves on Discord:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨