Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Spotted on Discord:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Seen just now on Discord:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Trending via Snapchat:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

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Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…
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Commentary:
Being self-declared "nice" is like adding "world's best musician" to your own playlist 🎶😅😜

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Instagram this month:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

40 shares on Threads this month:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

19 shares on X this month:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Just shared via Telegram:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Making waves on Telegram:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Going viral on Reddit:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Making waves on WeChat:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Going viral on X:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Going viral on X:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Trending via WeChat:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Spotted on WeChat:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

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