Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,028

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Going bananas on Threads:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Going bananas on WeChat:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Spotted on Telegram:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Spotted on Facebook:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Spotted on Twitch:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a delicious plan for a mid-life crisis retreat 🍔🍟🌳 Might come back looking like a legendary forest creature! 🧙‍♂️🍔🌲

burger, Burger King, childhood, childhood nostalgia, disappearance, disappearing, fast, fast food, food, forest, going, Grinch, Grinch meal, humor, king, McDonald’s, meal, nostalgia, Spongebob, Spongebob meal, twenty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

0

2 months ago

brain, discovery, humor, i, just, left, left side, mental, mental state, nothing, right, right side, self-awareness, side, state
At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

0

1 month ago

assume, assumption, buy, everyone, going, humor, just, loser, point, Tesla
I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

0

1 month ago

activity, audio, audio tour, commentary, critique, family, humor, museum, need, teen, time, tour, visit
Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

0

1 month ago

comfort, essentials, humor, kindness, less, less is more, lifestyle, paper, sleep, toilet, toilet paper
I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, dissatisfaction, done, enjoying, enjoyment, humor, i, need, Netflix, over, popular, popular show, show, slow-burn, urgency
I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

0

2 months ago

career, choices, desires, housewife, humor, i, job, life, life choices, opportunity, rich, take

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Making waves on WeChat:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Spotted on Instagram:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Shared recently on X:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Breaking via Slack:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨