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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

429 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,698

Funny Quotes Topics

17,716

Funny Quotes Images

15,698

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Live now on Discord:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Going viral on WeChat:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Trending via WeChat:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Trending via YouTube:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Spotted on X:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a delicious plan for a mid-life crisis retreat 🍔🍟🌳 Might come back looking like a legendary forest creature! 🧙‍♂️🍔🌲

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

38 shares on X this month:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

76 shares on X this month:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

429 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,698

Funny Quotes Topics

17,716

Funny Quotes Images

15,698

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Live now on X:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Live now on Twitch:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Seen just now on Discord:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Trending via Slack:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Seen just now on Slack:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The shitshow must go on.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

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