Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Trending via Slack:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Spotted on Telegram:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Seen just now on Slack:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Just shared via Slack:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

23 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about food cravings and epic disappearing acts.

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Commentary:
Sounds like a delicious plan for a mid-life crisis retreat 🍔🍟🌳 Might come back looking like a legendary forest creature! 🧙‍♂️🍔🌲

burger, Burger King, childhood, childhood nostalgia, disappearance, disappearing, fast, fast food, food, forest, going, Grinch, Grinch meal, humor, king, McDonald’s, meal, nostalgia, Spongebob, Spongebob meal, twenty

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

46 shares on X this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

99 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Just landed via Twitch:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Going viral on Telegram:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Trending via Instagram:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Just landed via Telegram:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Making waves on Discord:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Going viral on Threads:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Making waves on TikTok:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨