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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Going viral on WeChat:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Trending via Snapchat:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Just landed via X:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Shared recently on Messenger:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, someone found the fast track to my list of new best friends 🤣🚫✈️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

0

2 months ago

am, child, decoration, ears, humor, i, parent, parenting, parenting struggles, struggles, toddler
I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

0

2 months ago

activity, driving, fun, fun activity, humor, i, just, music, myself, played, repetition, same, solo, song, times
America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

0

4 hours ago

America, Chicago, crime, done, fun, gangster, humor, italian, nostalgia, organized, organized crime
I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, came, humor, i, moment, saw, situation, social, social situation
They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

0

2 months ago

happiness, happy, humor, i, lose, nap, proverb, relaxation, rest, say, sleep, snooze, take
Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

0

2 months ago

benefits, connection, father, friends, getting, humor, internship, job, me, network, opportunity, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

58 shares on X this month:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

68 shares on Telegram this month:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Just landed via Messenger:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Trending via Instagram:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨