Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,002

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Live now on X:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Shared recently on Facebook:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Broadcasted on X:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Trending via WeChat:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Another round of cookies, please! It's what Santa would want! 🍪🎅🎄

again, Christmas, fat, getting, gift, guess, holiday, humor, joke, repetition, same, self-deprecation, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

1 month ago

humor, last, last minute, management, minute, motivation, only, procrastination, something, time, time management, urgency, wait
What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

1 month ago

ask, beginner, beginner question, being, curiosity, funny question, getting, humor, just, nosy, question, someone
Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

1 month ago

12, addiction, chocolate, day, eye, hearing, humor, lost, struggle
How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

1 month ago

am, appreciation, confidence, forget, humor, i, life, love, me, positivity, self, self appreciation, self-love, silly
I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

1 month ago

asking, Batman, decision making, humor, i, inspiration, me, much, myself, new, self-reflection, superhero, think, time, too, trouble
My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

5 months ago

doing, doing nothing, favourite, humor, lay, laziness, nothing, pose, relaxation, still, stillness, where, yoga, yoga pose

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Just shared via Facebook:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Trending via Telegram:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏