Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

72 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,341

Funny Quotes Topics

17,460

Funny Quotes Images

15,341

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Trending via Pinterest:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Live now on Facebook:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Breaking via Discord:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Going viral on Instagram:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Shared recently on Telegram:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Trending via WeChat:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Accidentally? More like 'skillfully'! 😎🍟 #Talent"

accidentally, appetite, bag, cheat, cheat day, chips, craving, day, eaten, ever, family, food, humor, indulgence, laziness, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

0

2 months ago

aging, car, cd, colonoscopy, health, humor, joke, life, life joke, medical, medical joke, original, protection, schedule, technology, time
Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

0

2 months ago

believe, coffee, customer, deal, difficult, difficulty, humor, me, order, sarcasm, Starbucks
If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

0

4 months ago

annoyance, confirm, confirmation, definitely, email, email list, email marketing, follow up, follow-up email, humor, i, list, marketing, need, send, unsubscribe
One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

0

3 months ago

excellent, head, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, point, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, voice, voices
Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

0

2 months ago

body, humor, hurt, internal, irony, me, organ, organs, pain, something, sure, tell, trying
Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

0

2 months ago

food, grocer, gross, household, household item, humor, item, items, porn, pun, selling, small, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on YouTube this month:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

47 shares on TikTok this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

57 shares on Discord this month:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

75 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

26 shares on Slack this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Just landed via WeChat:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Just landed via Instagram:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Going viral on TikTok:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Making waves on Messenger:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨