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Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

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Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Going viral on Slack:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Spotted on Twitch:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Spotted on Messenger:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Seen just now on X:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about work-life balance highlighting the ironic chaos of employment.

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Commentary:
Work-life balance is just a fancy way of saying I'm confused about where I want to nap! 🛋️💤💼

contradiction, crazy, daily, daily life, exhausted, exhaustion, feel, feeling, having, home, humor, job, just, life, loneliness, lonely, want, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

81 shares on Twitch this month:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Trending via Threads:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Live now on X:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Spotted on WeChat:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Live now on Facebook:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Trending via Slack:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Shared recently on X:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

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Activity Log ✨

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨