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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,939

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Just landed via Instagram:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Shared recently on Slack:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Blocking spammers like a hurricane on a mission! 🌪️🚫🤣

am, block, blocking, confidence, here, humor, hurricane, i, me, media, metaphor, playful, sarcasm, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

1 month ago

boat, entertainment, humor, joke, movie, name, Titanic, trivia
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

2 months ago

avoidance, humor, Monday, procrastination, still, stillness, week, work, work week
I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

1 month ago

away, being, donut, donuts, elephant, food, humor, joke, room, self-deprecation, weight
Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

2 months ago

advice, anger, else, humor, keep, nobody, patience, temper, wants
Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

2 months ago

ball, enough, fight, football, humor, just, literally, making, over, player, players, reason, saw, sideline, sport
People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

1 month ago

bad, commentary, humor, indoors, introversion, isolation, people, social, social commentary, stay, talk

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Going bananas on X:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Going viral on X:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Spotted on Discord:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

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Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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