Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's more forgetful than we thought! 🎅📋🥛 Maybe he got distracted by all those cookies and never made it to the dairy aisle. Naughty list for the milk, Santa! 🍪🥛📜

checking, forgetfulness, forgot, holiday, humor, leaving, list, making, milk, shopping, still, store, twice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

0

2 months ago

aspirations, demons, dress, fashion, humor, mindset, want
You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

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2 months ago

celebration, clothes, family, fit, food, humor, know, longer, overeating, success, successful, Thanksgiving
I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

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2 months ago

activity, display, fun, fun activity, humor, i, making, making out, miss, nostalgia, people, public, public display, romance, uncomfortable
“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

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3 months ago

cooking, ever, humor, internet, jump, recipe, shortcut, technology, teleportation, well
People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

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5 months ago

active, activity, both, contradiction, exercise, humor, laziness, lazy, people, same, stairs, step, steps, take, time, walking
I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

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2 months ago

end, funny moment, going, humor, husband, i, last, making, misunderstanding, moment, motorbike, never, night, noise, outside, stomach, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on YouTube this month:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

83 shares on X this month:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

46 shares on Messenger this month:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

69 shares on WeChat this month:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Spotted on Messenger:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Making waves on Facebook:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Breaking via Messenger:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Seen just now on Threads:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Going bananas on Slack:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Spotted on X:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Just shared via X:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨