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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has copied:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has viewed:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has viewed:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has copied:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has viewed:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Going viral on Messenger:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Going viral on Messenger:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Just landed via TikTok:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Going viral on Twitch:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Trending via Threads:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Reported on Slack:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Just shared via Reddit:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.
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Commentary:
"Trying to be normal is my superpower, but I must have left my cape at home! πŸ¦Έβ€β™‚οΈπŸ˜œπŸ˜‚"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has downloaded:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has copied:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Discord:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Trending via X:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Spotted on Snapchat:

One of the kids said, β€œCamping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Trending via Pinterest:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Live now on Snapchat:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Just landed via Twitch:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Trending via Snapchat:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Reported on X:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Reported on WeChat:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

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