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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Going bananas on Reddit:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Shared recently on X:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Just shared via X:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

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Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Crow women: masters of shiny object collection and perfecting the art of dramatic caw-versation! 🪶😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

46 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

24 shares on Threads this month:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

49 shares on X this month:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Farting, but with eye contact.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,647

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Live now on Messenger:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Just landed via Threads:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Going viral on Instagram:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Just shared via Telegram:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Live now on Reddit:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Seen just now on Discord:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Seen just now on YouTube:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

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