Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Spotted on Twitch:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Breaking via Slack:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Making waves on Facebook:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Trending via Discord:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Crow women: masters of shiny object collection and perfecting the art of dramatic caw-versation! 🪶😂

animal, animal lovers, attention, cat, cat lady, crow, crow woman, girl, girls, horse, horse girl, humor, humor quote, lady, lovers, quirky, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

0

2 months ago

affleck, again, ben, Ben Affleck, broke, broke up, children, engaged, humor, Jennifer, Jennifer Lopez, life, lopez, love, love life, married, people, relationship, reunited, single, time, whole
Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

0

2 months ago

back, disappointment, everything, expectations, expensive, humor, i, illegal, likes, me, relationships, text, texting
Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

0

2 months ago

creativity, humor, individuality, inspiration, nonsense, positivity, wish, world
Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

0

2 months ago

advice, dating, dating advice, friend, friends, friendship, gratitude, hot, hot friend, hotter, humor, later, me, relationship, rush, thank
I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

0

2 months ago

exhaustion, feelings, humor, Monday, point, resistance, where, work
Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

0

2 months ago

app, bruise, came, health, humor, idea, invention, mystery, technology, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Reddit this month:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

31 shares on Slack this month:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

92 shares on X this month:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m only dead on the outside.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

75 shares on Discord this month:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Just landed via YouTube:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Trending via Snapchat:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Trending via Reddit:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Trending via TikTok:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Just landed via Messenger:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Going viral on Instagram:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Trending via Pinterest:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨