Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Just landed via Messenger:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Spotted on Threads:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Trending via LinkedIn:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Live now on Threads:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Playful text about struggling to get out of bed, capturing a humorous, relatable vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Me trying to get out of bed is like a sloth attempting a sprint 🛌🏃‍♂️💤

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

84 shares on TikTok this month:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,387

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I need a massage for my brain.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Freshly posted on X:

Been getting really into nothing.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Spotted on Discord:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Just landed via TikTok:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Trending via Pinterest:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Japanese Latina catgirl be like ña.

Seen just now on Threads:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

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