How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.