Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Just shared via X:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Just landed via WeChat:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

Trending via Instagram:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Going viral on X:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Going viral on Facebook:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Trending via Facebook:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
It's scientifically proven: singing your heart out = instant personality upgrade! 🎤🎶✨

activity, am, away, change, changes, expression, fun, fun activity, i, karaoke, lungs, music, Oasis, person, personal, personal change, singing, slide, song, top

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

6 months ago

addiction, better, cigarette, feel, humor, i, just, sarcasm, saying, smoking, vape, vindication
I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

2 months ago

food, food humor, head, humor, i, ketchup, love, pun, t, tomato, wordplay
If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

2 months ago

bird, humor, i, ID, know, playful, poop, revenge, sarcasm
I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

2 months ago

believe, expectation, humor, i, procrastination, ready, self-doubt, time
I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

3 months ago

dying, house, humor, me, self-deprecation, sweet, sweets, thing
I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

2 months ago

bathroom, cannon, clean, cleaning, humor, i, kids, mess, parenting, shoot, sure, toothpaste

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

71 shares on X this month:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

36 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

65 shares on Discord this month:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I am half agony, half hope.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Trending via Messenger:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Making waves on Twitch:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Just landed via Twitch:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Shared recently on Slack:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨