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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Breaking via Telegram:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Seen just now on X:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Going viral on Facebook:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Going bananas on X:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Just shared via Facebook:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

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I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a mystery borrower on the loose! 🔍📚 Maybe they were reading about how to disappear without a trace? Regardless, let's hope they can solve the case of the missing books before Sherlock Holmes shows up at their door! 🕵️‍♂️🔎

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Discord this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

76 shares on Threads this month:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

82 shares on Messenger this month:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Later is the best time to do anything.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,620

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Spotted on Reddit:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Making waves on Discord:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Going viral on Slack:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

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