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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Going viral on Twitch:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Trending via Discord:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Going viral on Pinterest:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Just landed via Twitch:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Trending via WhatsApp:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Breaking via WeChat:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

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“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.
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Commentary:
Talking to flowers? At least they won’t talk behind your petals! 🌻🗣️🌼

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Messenger this month:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

80 shares on X this month:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

72 shares on Slack this month:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Just landed via TikTok:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Trending via Slack:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Just shared via Instagram:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Just shared via Messenger:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Breaking via Slack:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

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