Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Going viral on Instagram:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Just landed via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Live now on TikTok:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Going viral on YouTube:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When a cat headbutts you, it’s their version of saying, "I love you, now worship me, puny human!" 🐱💥👑

adore, affection, behavior, bet, cat, feels, funny observation, good, headbutt, i, observation, pet, pet behavior, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

0

2 months ago

better, frustration, humor, idiot, idiots, irony, job, keep, making, proof, things, workplace
Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

0

2 months ago

alone, collaboration, everything, frustration, group, group project, humor, independence, learning, me, project, solo, taught, teamwork, trust
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

0

2 months ago

again, dislike, divorce, getting, give, going, house, humor, i, love, marriage, married, relationship, sarcasm, woman
Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

0

2 months ago

assistant, device, ever, fail, frustration, humor, just, Siri, smart, smart device, tech, tech fail, technology, voice, voice assistant, work
I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

0

2 months ago

activity, affection, desire, fun, fun activity, humor, i, just, kiss, me, relationship, romance, should, think
An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

0

2 months ago

bar, home, humor, introvert, isolation, joke, just, kidding, social

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

89 shares on TikTok this month:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

54 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Just landed via Reddit:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Live now on TikTok:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Trending via Pinterest:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Seen just now on Discord:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Spotted on Threads:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Spotted on X:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Live now on Pinterest:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨