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Commentary:
"Who knew that a 'lark' could lead to such unforeseen consequences? 🤓 But hey, at least now you can read the fine print without squinting! Not exactly what you bargained for, but hey, seeing clearly is the real vision quest, right? 😉 #UnexpectedUpgrade"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

1 month ago
anything, behavior, choose, commentary, humor, identity, internet, online, online behavior, people, social, social commentary, strange, stupid, stupidity, want
Human hibernation should be a thing.

1 month ago
concept, hibernation, human, idea, relaxation, should, sleep, thing, winter
Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

1 month ago
communication, good, humor, i, nonsense, pretty, saying, speaker, talking, wit
I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

1 month ago
bizarre, constipation, doctor, dragon, drug, drug experience, experience, hallucination, humor, i, LSD, myself, prescription, saw, shit, sure, surreal, unexpected, why
If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

1 month ago
chicken, diet, fish, humor, pescatarian, poultrygeist, pun, vegetarian
“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

1 month ago
again, communication, goodbye, humor, interaction, intimacy, irony, never, person, relationship, silence, social, social interaction, something, speaking

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

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They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

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I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

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The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

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My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

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I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

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I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

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Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

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Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

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Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

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The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

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My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

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My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

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Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

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I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

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I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

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