Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Just landed via Twitch:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Trending via Snapchat:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Spotted on Reddit:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Spotted on YouTube:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Just landed via Twitch:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Making waves on Reddit:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

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I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that a 'lark' could lead to such unforeseen consequences? 🤓 But hey, at least now you can read the fine print without squinting! Not exactly what you bargained for, but hey, seeing clearly is the real vision quest, right? 😉 #UnexpectedUpgrade"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

23 shares on X this month:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

20 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Just landed via Twitch:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Shared recently on Slack:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Live now on Pinterest:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Trending via Telegram:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Just shared via Telegram:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

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