Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Seen just now on Facebook:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Making waves on Facebook:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Making waves on WeChat:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Seen just now on TikTok:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Just shared via Threads:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about laziness and procrastination, jokingly claiming house chores are optional.

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Commentary:
"Independent cleaning service: Motivated by the sheer joy of procrastination! 🧹😅🙃"

clean, everyday, everyday struggle, house, housework, humor, i, laziness, laziness humor, lazy, me, motivation, motivation paradox, paradox, procrastination, someone, struggle, want, whole

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

90 shares on Slack this month:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Shared recently on Threads:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Freshly posted on X:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Just landed via YouTube:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Spotted on Telegram:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨