Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Alcohol must have missed the memo on 'evil plans' and just decided to throw a giggle party instead! 🥂😂 Who knew being slutty was the real happy hour special? Cheers to keeping it saucy, not sinister! 🍹💃"

alcohol, evil, fun, giggling, humor, i, just, laughter, party, slutty, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

0

2 months ago

asleep, dark, humor, know, moment, morning, need, sleep, state, sweater, tired
I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

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2 months ago

abyss, busy, busy signal, communication, existential, frustration, humor, i, irony, scream, signal, today
My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

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3 months ago

alone, alone time, favorite, favorite thing, introvert, leisure, nothing, relaxation, solitude, thing, time
I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

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2 months ago

always, always available, am, available, communication, digital, digital presence, hello, here, humor, i, instant, instant response, love, media, online, online communication, people, presence, quick, quick reply, reply, replying, response, seconds, social, social media, texting
Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

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2 months ago

doctors, funny observation, healthcare, hear, humor, irony, joke, me, observation, room, wait, waiting, waiting room, where
If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

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3 months ago

attitude, comeback, humor, i, matter, me, mind, over, remember, self-confidence, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

42 shares on Threads this month:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Spotted on WeChat:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Making waves on X:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Spotted on Instagram:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Just shared via Slack:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨