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Commentary:
Oh, so you're not ignoring calls, you're just engaging in a staring contest with them? Well, I guess that's one way to assert your dominance over your phone!

behavior, call, communication, humor, procrastination, social, social behavior, stare, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

0

5 months ago

cake, chocolate, chocolate cake, dessert, food, food love, humor, love, soulmate
I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

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2 months ago

age, crisis, humor, joke, life, life stages, midlife, midlife crisis, older, remark, stages, witty, witty remark
Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

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5 months ago

3, benefit, day, days, disease, health, humor, immunity, job, job benefit, life, months, new, new job, office, office humor, sick, sick day, starting, work, work life
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

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5 months ago

advice, care, dog, funny advice, grocery, grocery store, hear, home, hour, humor, i, know, needs, pet, pet care, restaurant, stay, store
It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

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2 months ago

activity, burger, crazy, food, fun, fun activity, just, never, nostalgia, people, socializing, used
Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

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2 months ago

actually, customer, customer service, customers, facade, fake, fake laugh, humor, job, job skill, laugh, laughing, professional, professional facade, service, skill, social, social skill, workplace, workplace humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Discord this month:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

90 shares on X this month:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

49 shares on Discord this month:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

81 shares on Discord this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Just shared via YouTube:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Going viral on Slack:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Spotted on YouTube:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Just shared via Reddit:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Trending via WeChat:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨