Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.
  • Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.
  • My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.
  • “Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.
  • I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.
  • I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.