Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Spotted on X:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Live now on Snapchat:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Spotted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Trending via Slack:

My middle finger salutes you.

Trending via Messenger:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about seeking revenge with playful, witty disdain for past wrongs.

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Commentary:
Suddenly chillier than a penguin's picnic—watch your back! 🐧❄️😜

chill, ever, everyone, feel, feeling, humor, i, know, me, need, revenge, therapy, why, wronged

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20 shares on YouTube this month:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

52 shares on X this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Men are very good at being women lately.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Just landed via TikTok:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Shared recently on Threads:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Trending via Twitch:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Going viral on Twitch:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Just shared via TikTok:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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