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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Never trust a wet fart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

756 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,918

Funny Quotes Topics

13,888

Funny Quotes Images

10,918

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Trending via TikTok:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Making waves on Snapchat:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Reported on Twitch:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Spotted on YouTube:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Trending via Instagram:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Seen just now on X:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Making waves on TikTok:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Seen just now on Threads:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.
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Commentary:
"When it comes to pasta, I either feed an army or a hamster! 🍝🤷‍♂️ #Pastatastrophes"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

756 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,918

Funny Quotes Topics

13,888

Funny Quotes Images

10,918

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Live now on TikTok:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Reported on TikTok:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Just shared via YouTube:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

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