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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Always ready for bed, just like a professional napper extraordinaire! 🛌😴🔋

always, am, bed, bedtime, humor, i, laziness, people, readiness, ready, sarcasm, sleep, understand, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

0

2 months ago

actor, cruise, fame, going, Hollywood, humor, joke, movy, retirement, run, tom, Tom Cruise
That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

1

2 months ago

after, bill, bills, budgeting, expense, finance, humor, i, jean, jeans, left, leftover, little, money, over, pay, perfect, pocket, size
You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

0

2 months ago

advice, change, food, humor, life, life advice, past, pasta, wordplay
I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

0

2 months ago

another, breaks, coffee, drink, humor, i, routine, take, time
What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

0

2 months ago

bloke, character, comedy, fiction, harry, Harry Potter, humor, main, main bloke, potter, wizard
Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

0

2 months ago

am, animal, baby, bed, day, hours, humor, i, koala, lazy, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

19 shares on Discord this month:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

39 shares on Threads this month:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

53 shares on Discord this month:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

72 shares on X this month:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

65 shares on Discord this month:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Spotted on WeChat:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Seen just now on X:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Live now on YouTube:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Live now on YouTube:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨