Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.