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Commentary:
"I totally get it! The satisfaction of having exercised is unmatched, but the thought of actually doing it… 🏋️‍♂️💭 Procrastination at its finest! 😅"

desire, done, effort, exercise, fitness, humor, i, irony, motivation, procrastination, self-improvement, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

0

6 months ago

again, back, communication, female, ghost, ghosting, relationship, text, texting, time, waiting, whole
I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

0

2 months ago

bolt, humor, late, procrastination, running, speed, usain, Usain Bolt
The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

0

2 months ago

existential, humor, insane, later, life, madness, purpose, sooner
Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

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2 weeks ago

again, care, communication, dismissal, humor, i, indifference, me, mention, need, phrase, professional, professional phrase, sarcasm, say
After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

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2 months ago

after, away, cheese, confirm, enough, food, grandma, humor, i, italian, month, much, never, Parmesan, pasta, scare, too, travel
I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad guy, bluesky, comparison, gaming, guy, guys, humor, i, JRPG, media, practice, social, social media, support, theory

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Threads this month:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

52 shares on Discord this month:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

63 shares on X this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

17 shares on Threads this month:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

13 shares on Threads this month:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Seen just now on Discord:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Just shared via YouTube:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Trending via Reddit:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Trending via Threads:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Making waves on YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨