Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Trending via YouTube:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Going viral on Instagram:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Just landed via Telegram:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Just landed via Slack:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
If video game characters gave relationship advice: Mario for the action, Luigi for the romance. 🍄💚💥💏

banter, character, character comparison, comparison, feel, game, humor, i, lover, Luigi, Mario, playful, playful banter, prowess, raw, relationship, sensual, sensual lover, video, video game

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

0

2 months ago

day, every, exercise, fitness, humor, joke, leg, leg day, squatter, workout
It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

0

2 months ago

assumption, compliment, fault, humor, i, meant, misunderstanding, positive, said, sarcasm, stunning
Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

0

4 weeks ago

communication, depressing, finds, friendship, humor, letter, life, pal, pen, pen pal, prison, too, us, want, writing
Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

0

2 months ago

chairs, design, ergonomics, humans, humor, know, people, questioning, sarcasm
My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

0

2 months ago

advice, coach, failure, humor, i, life, life coach, me, motivation, self-improvement, sports, team, told
Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

0

2 months ago

asking, die, friend, horniness, humor, joke, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

94 shares on Slack this month:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

54 shares on Threads this month:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

How do I un-know people?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Going viral on Messenger:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Shared recently on Discord:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Making waves on TikTok:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Going viral on Messenger:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Trending via Slack:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨