Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Just landed via Instagram:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Trending via Slack:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Going viral on X:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Making waves on Slack:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Just landed via Telegram:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Zooming past like I'm in a sidewalk Grand Prix! 🚶‍♂️💨🏆 Sorry, geriatric league! 😅

age, bad, feel, feeling, flex, guilty, guilty feeling, humor, i, man, mean, old, old person, overtake, person, sidewalk, stride, walking, youthful, youthful stride

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, beautiful, creativity, emotion, everyone, feel, humor, joke, pain, poorly, something, transformation, turn, weird
Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

0

2 months ago

closed, early, easier, eyes, getting, humor, keep, sleep, struggle, waking
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

0

2 months ago

humor, insight, missing, misunderstanding, perception, relationship, women
The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

0

3 days ago

audio, beat, different, ear, funny observation, going, left, listening, music, observation, rhythm, right, sound, where
Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

0

2 months ago

current, current events, events, fear, Halloween, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, irony, just, news, scare, year
I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

0

5 months ago

forgetfulness, humor, i, joke, memory, own, party, plan, planning, surprise, surprise party, swear, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Discord this month:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

73 shares on Discord this month:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

62 shares on Reddit this month:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

43 shares on Threads this month:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Going viral on Instagram:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Breaking via Pinterest:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Just landed via YouTube:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Making waves on Facebook:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Trending via Facebook:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Going viral on Instagram:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨