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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Just shared via Telegram:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Making waves on TikTok:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Going viral on WeChat:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Trending via WeChat:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Going viral on YouTube:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember the good old days when social distancing was just personal space and not a global mandate? 🤣 #BringBackThe6FeetRule"

6, away, distance, feet, humor, i, kind, miss, pandemic, people, social, space

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

0

2 months ago

act, age, grown, grown up, humor, i, just, maturity, self-perception, want, young, youth
If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

0

2 months ago

confidence, humor, less, much, relationship, too, too much
The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

0

2 months ago

day, early, humor, humor quote, i, lifestyle, morning, motivation, over, procrastination, start, waking, waking up
Back to the Future and chill?

0

2 months ago

back, Back to the Future, chill, culture, date, future, humor, movie, pop, pop culture
You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

0

2 months ago

belief, cynicism, every, humor, just, level, liking, mistrust, opinion, politician, politics, prove, satire, should, single, skepticism, trust
A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

0

2 months ago

app, dating, dating app, humor, interaction, introvert, mumble, people, relationships, shy, social, social interaction, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Live now on Messenger:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Just shared via Messenger:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Making waves on Instagram:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Making waves on TikTok:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Back to the Future and chill?

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨